


Southtopia (Zootopia/South Park) PART THREE

by Pancake094



Category: Bernielover, South Park, Zootopia
Genre: Experiment gone wrong, Gen, Portals, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pancake094/pseuds/Pancake094
Summary: When a dream seems to be an omen of destruction, what will our heroes do to prevent it? What could old friends and current enemies be planning? Our tale moves on in Part Three!





	Southtopia (Zootopia/South Park) PART THREE

Southtopia: Part Three

Butters screams out loudly, snapping to consciousness and tumbling onto the floor of the holding cell in which he sleeps. His three friends bolt up. It’s still dark.  
“Ahh! What the f**k!” Kyle squeaks.  
Butters turns towards the sound of his friend’s voice.  
“Kyle!” Butters cries, tears rolling down his face. “I think I had one of the scariest dreams that any of us can think of right now!”  
“What? What was it?” Stan asks.  
Butters then goes into the details of his dream, after which the three others look at him in horror.  
“My God,” Kenny says quietly with wide eyes.

About four hours later, the officers of the ZPD, including Judy and Nick, report for their assignments at headquarters. However, Chief Bogo has a special assignment for the two mentioned partners. He asks them to head to the security office. The cameras have picked up some unusual activity in the holding cells.  
Upon reaching the office in question, they review the footage of last night, fast-forwarding until something odd caught their eyes. About 6 hours in, the camera and audio plays back the sight and sound of Butters, one of the specimens that they were in charge of studying, screaming and falling from the bench he was sleeping upon. Upon the inquiry from Kyle and Stan, the boy goes into the details of a dream he had.  
“You guys were with me, and we were all talking with Nick and Judy back in that room with the big table. But then, another fox and another rabbit walked in, and they said THEY were Nick and Judy. But I couldn’t see them as being them, because they looked all gloomy and black-and-white! Then two more walked in, and they also said that they were the real Nick and Judy, but this Nick was shirtless with a six-pack, and Judy’s butt looked like it belonged to a Kardashian! Then another Nick and Judy came in, and they were both gun-toting nutburgers! All of these Nicks and Judys kept on walking in, and before long, I couldn’t find the REAL Nick and Judy anywhere! But that’s not it! All of the Nicks and Judys started yelling at each other, each of ‘em saying that they were the real deal, and then they all started hitting and shooting each other! Blood and bullet-holes were everywhere! And then there was smoke and fire, and everyone screamed! And I screamed, too!” Butters pauses for a moment, catching himself. “And now I’m here,” he finishes.  
The other boys look on in horror, and Kenny says something that neither Nick nor Judy can quite make out.  
After Judy stops the recording, the two partners look on at the frozen image of Butters’ terrified expression, as well as those of his friends, for about thirty seconds.  
“Sweet cheese and crackers,” Judy finally says, looking down and shaking her head.  
Nick thinks over what he just saw and heard for a moment before he arrives at a conclusion that would scare two of the humps off of a pregnant camel.  
“Could…” Nick begins before hesitating to give this kind of news to his most special friend. “Could he have dreamt about the portal gun?” he finally asks, deciding to lighten the load.  
“Huh?” Judy asks as she looks up at Nick. “No, I think that maybe we didn’t give him who we are in the best way. Think about it: we bring them over to our world for research, but we wind up helping them with a problem that they all share, but then we leave them in a holding cell. That would give anybody a rather complex view of us, let alone something that’s never had us as a part of their lives.”  
“Well, I can kinda see where you’re going with that,” Nick replies, “but that doesn’t explain how he could have dreamt of versions of us with completely different looks. I mean, different personalities I can understand, but…..but look at THEM! Look at how different they look from anyone we know in this world. They look like they’re made of paper, for Pete’s sake! Who’s to say that WE don’t look something like that in some distant world? And who’s to say THAT version of us won’t come to THIS version of us? Ugh! Just thinking about it makes my brain hurt!” he asks.  
Judy responds with a look suggesting that Nick had said the dumbest thing she ever heard.  
“Really, Nick?” Judy asks. “You really think that some distant version of our world in the infinite multiverse would have the technology that is exactly like ours in order to come to this one world we know?”  
“Well, it happened with these humans!” Nick points out. “Yeah, it was coincidence, but it still happened! Even with the tiny nature of the chance, we need to prepare for the fact that it could happen again!”  
“Well, personally,” Judy replies, “I have doubts that a small child of any species could really be considering a possibility such as that.”  
“Well, you’re not the expert in portals here,” Nick gives out. “Gazelle is!” He pauses, gaining an idea. “Wait….that’s it!”  
Judy asks him what would be it.  
“Gazelle is the expert!” Nick answers. “If SHE had this information, she would know how to interpret it. She’d HAVE to!”  
“Well, where do you think she’d be?” Judy asks.  
“Odds are, she’s somewhere back in South Park,” Nick replies. “We should head over there to find her. All we need is a recording of the video.”  
“Good idea,” Judy says with a nod. So, upon replaying the video and recording it all on Nick’s phone, Nick and Judy leave for the opposite world, but not before getting permission from Bogo.  
“Even I’ll admit,” the Chief says when asked, “a dream like that would have anyone asking questions. Go ahead, but come back in one piece, alright?”  
Upon arriving at the place where Gazelle’s mansion once stood, Judy and Nick park their car and head through the interdimensional gate together.  
Little do they know, however, that a small and stout figure is laying in waiting off to the side of the portal for them to walk past before he follows them in their travels. He wears a grey trench coat and a fedora tilted down and hiding his face, so as to prevent recognition due to a now unsavory reputation.

At this moment, in the holding cells at ZPD Headquarters, the boys from South Park are as abuzz as they had been at four in the morning, horrified by the possibility of multiversal armageddon. Butters sits on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees, and Kenny is pacing the floor with his hands behind his back and his gaze facing downward.  
“How can we be sure?” Stan asks. “How can we take this dream as an omen when a dream of ours hasn’t been one before?”  
“Well, for starters, we faced twins of ourselves before,” Kyle answers. “Remember back in Season Two?” He pauses for a moment, and a tear of nostalgia rolls down his cheek.  
“Yeah,” Kenny answers. “Good times.”  
“But a dream didn’t come as an omen to that episode!” Stan says. “So what does it have to do with anything?”  
“Stan, we’ve been through enough craziness in our young lives to understand that nothing is ever entirely certain,” Kyle answers. “It’s like that time that we repeated the beginning of the first episode when the Earth was almost cancelled! Don’t you get it? Just because one portion is different doesn’t mean the rest won’t be similar!”  
“But again, we don’t know!” Stan says back.  
“But...but how CAN we know?” Butters asks.  
“Well…” Stan begins before realizing that he can’t truly answer that with the knowledge he has.  
“Stan?” Kyle asks.  
Stan looks at the others, having found a legitimate answer.  
“We don’t know,” he tells them quietly. “And as long as we’re inside this cell, we won’t know.”  
“You’re right,” Kyle replies at the same volume. “But how do we get out of here?”  
“Maybe we should start crying and begging to be let out,” Butters suggests, still shaken, “because that’s what I’M thinking about doing!”  
The others just look at him with looks of mild disgust.

Meanwhile, at the Sahara Square Correctional Facility, a small and fluffy creature sits at a table in the cafeteria, staring down at the meal on her plastic tray. She doesn’t touch it, and she hasn’t been doing so since yesterday. With all of these news she has received about these “human” things, all she can think about is what they could mean for her and her possible future plans. For more than a year, she has been dreaming and scheming up ways to get her hooves on that dumb bunny and that predator whom she sided with over her. Could these humans be some sort of possible leverage, or would they only be an obstacle to her?  
“I guess I’ll have to wait and see,” she thinks as she adjusts the glasses on her face.

In South Park, Judy and Nick are asking around for the whereabouts of Gazelle and PC Principal, as they have a hunch that these two would probably still be together, given how enthusiastic PC seemed when he first brought her into his world. And all throughout this travel, the figure in the trench coat follows behind, always out of sight, but always close and always watching.  
Eventually, they wind up gaining the knowledge of a large mansion somewhere near the outskirts of the town. On its lawn are several metal kegs, a multitude of empty bottles and red plastic cups, as well as a sofa which a muscular male adult human sleeps upon with one of these cups just below his hand that hangs over the side. Hanging from the arches and pillars of the structure are a number of banners reading “PC,” as well as an equilateral triangle. Both Nick and Judy try to think of what the final symbol could mean, with the best explanation they can think of being the notion that the triangle symbolizes equality. However, they quickly get back to the task at hand at Nick’s request.  
Judy decides to start with the human that sleeps on the sofa in the yard. She walks over and pokes his face, at which he lets out a groan before his eyes crack open slightly.  
“Good morning, human,” she tells him once he meets her gaze. “We need to ask you a question. Where is your-”  
“Bunny,” the human says in a slurred manner as he reaches out, wraps his arm around Judy, and pulls her to his side on the sofa.  
“Uhhh,” Judy says as she gains a disturbing feeling in the pit of her stomach regarding this act, “what’s going on? What are you doing?”  
An answer comes when the human begins rubbing the top of her head, and this sensation combines itself with the presence of a certain male condition to make Judy feel quite uncomfortable, to say the least.  
“Awwwww,” the human mumbles with Judy in his arms as his eyes close again. “Nighty-night, bunny...zzz...zzz…”  
“Nick!” Judy says quietly, trying not to make any sudden moves. “Get me out of this!”  
Nick, meanwhile, has been doing everything in his power to keep himself from laughing, unaware of the worst part of Judy’s predicament.  
“I think you two should get a room,” he jokes before snickering in a reserved manner, so as not to wake the human.  
“It’s not funny, Nick!” Judy whimpers angrily. “Get over here and help me!”  
“Alright, alright,” Nick says with a sigh. He walks around to the side of the sofa and climbs up onto its arm. He leans over slightly before he delivers a kind and friendly-  
“WAKEY-WAKEY, SLEEPYHEAD!” he screams at a strange growth on the side of the human’s head, one which he assumes to be an ear.  
Thankfully, he is correct in this assumption, and the human bolts upright, clutching his head and yelling loudly. In the process, he lets go of Judy, and she hops off of the sofa and out of the human’s sight quickly for fear of what he could do should she be caught.  
Nick jumps off of the sofa, as well, and he and Judy dash towards the entryway of the mansion to avoid a scuffle.  
“Wait!” the human on the sofa yells after them. “I’ve got consent forms!”  
Nick and Judy rush through the doorway and into a large foyer. They stop to look back, and they see that the human is falling back over and possibly drifting back to sleep.  
“What was that?” Judy asks, shaking. “What is with that human? What’s a consent form?”  
“Carrots, calm down,” Nick tells her, putting a paw on her shoulder.  
“How can I?” she replies. “Even when I counted all of the fingers on the human’s paws, I….I…..” She sits on the floor, hugging herself and shaking like a leaf. “I… I feel so...UGH!”  
Nick looks at Judy, and empathy pierces him.  
“Look, I can see that this has been rough for you. If you want to stay where you are for a bit, that’s alright. I can find Gazelle on my own. I already have the video,” he tells her before she wraps her arms around him.  
“Oh, Nick,” she bawls, “thank you!”  
Judy’s tears stain Nick’s uniform as she presses her face into his torso. Feeling her warm and spastic breath on his abdomen, Nick hugs his friend, his best friend, as tight as he can without hurting her.  
“It’ll be alright, Hopps,” Nick tells her as he gently strokes her drooping ears. “I’m your friend. You can count on me.”  
“Now if that isn’t the most righteous thing a bro could do,” a familiar voice calls from a hallway to the left. Nick and Judy turn to see PC Principal coming down the hall with a smile on his face and a stack of papers in his hands. He wears a turquoise bathrobe, a softball league t-shirt, plaid green pajama pants, brown slippers, and his usual sunglasses.  
“Mr. Principal!” Nick calls back.  
“You know, Mr. Wilde, if there’s one thing I really admire, it’s a bro who understands how to respectfully treat a female following a traumatic and marginalizing experience. Nice, bro,” PC tells him as he approaches.  
“What’s goin’ on, bro?” a shirtless human male asks PC as he steps out of his room in the hallway to hand him another piece of paper. Other similar-looking humans step out of their rooms to see what’s happening, as well.  
“This fox from the world we just recently discovered gave out a prime example of the proper way to treat a marginalized individual,” PC answers, motioning towards Nick. The other PC Bros in the hallway let out loud cheers of approval before they dash up to Nick. They reward him with fist-bumps and high-fives, as well as the occasional noogie.  
“You, Mr. Wilde, have set an example for PC Bros of all existing races and creeds to follow,” one of them says after his physical congratulations cease. “Congratulations, bro.”  
“Thanks a lot, guys,” Nick answers. “But you guys can just call me Nick.”  
“Sure thing, Mr. Wilde,” PC Principal says.  
Just then, the one who was sleeping on the sofa outside stumbles into the door, clutching his skull as though it were about to explode. He roars like some savage predator of ancient Zootopia, and then he falls to his knees, and a stream of green vomit spews from his mouth onto the carpet. He proceeds to lie on the floor in undying agony.  
Judy looks at him in shock.  
“Is something wrong?” PC asks her.  
“That’s...that’s the one who held me when I tried to ask him where you were,” she answers. She then goes into the details of the incident, but she then tells him that the man who held her is clearly not well in body or in mind, and so he is not entirely to blame.  
PC opens his mouth to say something before another moan comes from the one on the floor.  
“Coffee….Gatorade…..Alka-Seltzer….all of ‘em…...p-please...AAUGH!” the man says, barely moving.

 

Back in Zootopia, Officer Fangmeyer comes to Chief Bogo from the security room he was assigned to after Nick and Judy left to find Gazelle. He tells him that something was amiss with the specimens in the holding cells.  
Bogo orders him to play back the tapes for him, and upon doing so, the two view the footage of Butters crying like the small child he is. He displays the terror of the notion that he and his friends could very well be locked up in this tiny cell forever without any chance to see their moms or dads ever again. He cries for his classmates and for the others in his hometown, and eventually, the rest of the children in the cell are brought to cry along with him. A few other prisoners in the holding cells even cry, as well, including one who was said to have murdered seven orphaned piglets without batting an eye.  
Bogo, fearing what this could do for the ZPD’s reputation, decides to send Fangmeyer to open the cell and let the four out for a moment.  
Opening the cell door, Fangmeyer is greeted by Stan yelling, “NOW!” followed by a swift, four-person dash between the officer’s legs, with the final one to pass, Kenny, giving out a strong punch to his crotch.  
As Fangmeyer holds his injured privates after falling to his knees, Bogo sees the four specimens rush out of the room holding the cells.  
As such, he slams his hand down upon the alarm button in the security office.  
As red lights and the blare of sirens fill the station, the four fugitive friends also hear the approach of footsteps from every direction. Darting their eyes around the reception room they just entered, they end up locating an unattended, two-level cart of cleaning supplies and a fire extinguisher in a glass case on the wall. Kenny uses the harmonica he played yesterday to smash the case and grab the extinguisher as the other three jump on the cart. Kenny then enters the lower tier of the cart, aims the extinguisher behind it, and squeezes the handle.  
The other officers in the Headquarters rush in, net launchers and tranquilizer guns at the ready...and they are all too late to stop the cart traveling at high speed right through the glass doors to the outside, achievable by virtue of Kenny jumping up against the ceiling of his tier, lifting the cart above the metal borders of the glass.  
As the cart lands outside, Kyle and Stan steer the cart to move towards the road, ignoring the massive hole they made in the window of the door. Kenny blasts the cart in that direction as the officers in the headquarters move towards the garage. The supply cart then turns and shoots down the street, causing abrupt stops in its traffic as it does so. As that occurs, a multitude of ZPD squad cars speed down the road after the cart.  
“ZPD!” one of them shouts into the microphone in his car. “Pull the cart over NOW, humans!”  
Butters calls back, saying something that nobody chasing him and his friends can hear.  
“What?” the officer returns as he rolls down the window. Butters cups his hands around his mouth and takes a deep breath.  
“We can’t! Everyone depends on us!” Butters calls a second time. “All of us are in danger, and so are you!”  
“What are you talking about?!” the officer asks loudly.  
“We can’t let too much power fall into the wrong hands!” Butters answers. “We need to find the portal gun!”  
“You’re wasting your time, then!” the officer informs him. “The device is still in Gazelle’s possession!”  
Butters is taken aback.  
“Huh?” Butters calls back.  
“She’s the one who has it! After the explosion that left that hole to your world, she decided to keep it on her person at all times! It’s with her that it’s safest!” the officer calls back.  
Upon hearing this, Butters informs his friends of it, and, seeing that they probably overreacted, they manage to bring the cart to a stop by blasting the extinguisher in the opposite direction of their travels as the pull over to the side of the road. After they do, the police surround them, blocking off the road.  
The first one to exit one of the cars, of all people, is Chief Bogo himself.  
“Well, at least you can listen to reason,” he says sarcastically as he crosses his arms.

Back in South Park, the PC Bro from the sofa in the yard has just finished his helping of Gatorade, coffee and Alka-Seltzer that PC Principal mixed up in a blender. Regaining his head, if that’s what you could call it, he immediately begins jumping around and hooting like mad. It takes Judy thumping her foot on the floor to get the man’s attention. Once she does, the human contemplates out loud where he could have seen her before, as she indeed looks familiar. After a moment, he tells of a dream he had about a bunny that looked quite a bit like her, and went on to say how soft and cuddly it-  
“You hugged ME, you big meathead!” Judy yells. “And it wasn’t your lack of fur that troubled me. It was...well…” She tries to find a way to put it delicately. “Look downward.”  
He does so, and he immediately gasps and places his hands over his groin.  
“Oh, God, I’m sorry!” he cries. “That was so abusive and marginalizing of me!”  
“Hey, it’s alright,” Judy replies. “Given your reaction, I doubt you meant to have it as part of the act.”  
“So, hey, what brought you guys back to South Park?” PC Principal inquires after an awkward silence.  
“We’re looking for Gazelle,” Nick answers. “We figured that if we could find you, we could find her.”  
“Well, search no more, bro,” PC Principal replies. “I know her location like the back of my manipulative appendage.”  
Nick raises a brow.  
“Manipulative appendage?” Judy asks. “You mean your paw, right?”  
“Is that what non-PC members of your world call it? The non-PC members of ours call it a hand,” PC Principal replies.  
“Well, some of our world’s people call them hands when it comes to some species,” Judy says.  
“Well, then, Gazelle wasn’t kidding when she said that there was room to improve,” PC gives back. “Anyway, she’s out in the backyard. She was up all night testing her portal gun and taking notes. And that is not meant to be a strange innuendo; it is to be taken literally.”  
Heading out to the backyard, Nick and Judy find Gazelle and her tiger assistants sleeping in the grass near the rear wall of the mansion. Nick walks over and gives her a few nudges, and with a groan, she slowly opens her eyes.  
“Wha...Nick? Judy? What brings you back here?” she asks.  
Nick and Judy inform her of the possible predicament that Zootopia could be facing, showing her the video of the four humans in the holding cells. Gazelle looks on with a look suggesting that she had messed up.  
“Oh, dear,” she says. “I may have caused a problem.”  
“You what?” Judy asks.  
“You see, I tested my portal gun a large number of times to see if an incident like the one we experienced would happen again, but, thankfully, it never did. One hundred and seven times, in total,” Gazelle answers.  
“Well, that’s oddly specific,” Nick replies. “Anyway, I don’t see how that caused a problem.”  
“Well, you see, over the course of my study, I somehow decided to see what would happen if I tried to find Zootopia. I wound up finding a world that looked hardly anything like ours, though the people within shared names with us. And…”  
Gazelle is hesitant to finish.  
“Well?” Nick asks, motioning for her to go on.  
“I wound up bringing two specimens from that world into this one,” she answered. “At the time in my tired mind, it seemed like a good idea.”  
“WHAT?!” Nick shouts. “Did they run off?!”  
“No,” Gazelle answers, pointing somewhere behind Nick and Judy, “they’re right over there, sleeping.”  
Nick and Judy both sigh in relief as they turn around….only to see something that causes the air to return in a gasp of shock.  
It was themselves.

I interrupt this story for this public message. I WOULD have liked to create a world that could fit a genre of fanfiction that fans have come to see, and to do so with originality, but in the case of Zootopia, there are too many notable artists to pass up here. So, there are bound to be some who shall mark me as lazy, but...you know. Satire and stuff.  
And now, back to my regularly scheduled fanfiction.

As Gazelle had said, Nick and Judy’s duplicates look only vaguely like themselves. They are colorless and two-dimensional, looking somewhat like sketches fresh off of the page, though the outlines which seem to define their beings are crisp and polished. Most out-of-place in the eyes of the real deals, however, is the manner by which they sleep together, and by together, it means this version of Nick is holding his version of Judy close to him from behind her back as though she were a plush toy.  
Due to the lack of adequate descriptive ability beyond what you now read, it would be best, for myself, at least, to give any readers the knowledge of the exact world that these duplicates came from.  
They are the versions of Nick and Judy produced by the artist known only as “bernielover”.

Looking at these crude reflections, Judy finds a question to ask Nick.  
“Nick,” she begins, her nose starting to twitch, “do you see us sleeping like that?”  
“Well, I’m looking right at us,” Nick answers.  
“No!” Judy reiterates. “Not them, US!”  
“Oh,” Nick answers before quickly stumbling into silence. He looks at the duplicates then at Judy, then at Gazelle, then performs the cycle backwards and forwards several times over. He seeks an answer from within, but he finds none.  
“I don’t know,” the legitimate Nick answers. “I gotta say something, though.”  
“And what’s that?” Judy asks with a frown and a raised eyebrow.  
“Now that it’s actually in front of me,” Nick replies, “I beginning to think that it’s kinda neat to have there be two of me.”  
“Well, now that I see another ME, I’m having second thoughts, too!” Judy says before turning to Gazelle. “Send them back! We only need one of each of us! SEND THEM BACK RIGHT NOW!”  
“Alright, alright!” Gazelle replies as she reaches for a holster strapped to her hip. “It won’t take long. Just let me get out the device.”  
Out of her sight, however, the eyelids of the duplicates begin to separate.  
“Uhh…,” Bernielover’s Judy begins, sitting up and stretching, “what’s happening here…?”  
Judy, hearing the voice, storms over to the imposter before Disney’s Nick has a chance to intervene.  
“Pack whatever bags you brought, you faker!” Judy says right to her double, who, needless to say, is too startled by this sight of her ultra-detailed self to pay much attention to her words. “You’re going home!”  
“Miss Hopps?” Gazelle calls.  
“She brought you into this world, but that doesn't give you any right to stay!” Judy continues, not listening. “These worlds don’t need two of me, and they don’t need two of my partner, either!”  
“Miss Hopps?” Gazelle calls again, slightly louder.  
“So, your fluffy tails are both out of here!” Judy adds. “And all it will take is the pull of a-”  
“JUDY!” Nick shouts, finally getting her attention. She spins around, wishing to know what kind of situation would call for Nick calling her by her first name, before seeing the look of pure terror frozen on Gazelle’s visage. At the instant that she knows that she has Judy’s attention, Gazelle then says two words which will ensure that Judy’s request will not be accomplished with much haste:  
“It’s gone.”

Meanwhile, in Zootopia, the four boys are all being loaded into the backseat of one of the squad cars while Chief Bogo stands by with a hand to his face. Clawhauser is near him.  
“Hey, come on, Chief,” Clawhauser says, “you have to admit that was a nifty use of that cart!”  
“The actions of these humans have resulted in the endangerment of the drivers on this road and the destruction of public property!” Bogo retorts. “It’s coming out of everyone’s paycheck!”  
“Oh, yeah,” Clawhauser replies. “I forgot about that.”  
“Well, hey, don’t feel too bad about forgettin’ stuff,” Butters says to Clawhauser in response to this. “We all do that sometimes. Like one time, my friend Stan here forgot his-”  
“CAN IT, HUMAN!” Bogo shouts to the lad. At this, Butters shudders and shrinks in his seat, and a look of shock comes upon him.  
“You should really tone it down, Chief,” Kyle says. “He could have peed his pants right about now.”  
“Oh, really!” Bogo responds with painfully high levels of sarcasm. “He can crash through a window on a supply cart propelled by a fire extinguisher, no sweat, but the INSTANT I raise my voice, he’s reduced to a wet tissue! What kind of creatures are y-”  
Just then, an urgent voice comes onto Bogo’s radio: the voice of Officer Wilde. Bogo lets out an exasperated sigh as he picks up and asks for the reason for calling.  
Wilde, in response, asks about the current state of the four specimens from South Park. Bogo proceeds to tell him about the incident involving the supply cart.  
“They claimed that they needed to find the portal gun so it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands,” Bogo informed him. “We were sure to remind them that Gazelle is still in possession of the device, and so they have nothing to fear.”  
“But Chief,” Wilde says back, “that’s mainly why we’re calling! The portal gun! It’s been stolen!”  
Bogo drops his jaw and stares at the radio.  
“WHAT?!” he shouts.  
“I know! And that’s not all!” Nick replies. “The night before that one human had his dream, Gazelle was testing out the portal gun and taking notes on the worlds she found. And the notes are gone, too! By all we know, whoever has the gun is also in possession of dangerous interdimensional knowledge.”  
“Well, Sergeant Smart-aleck, what do you suggest we do about it?!” Bogo asks him in a frenzy.  
“Luckily for us, I think we have an idea of who the perp might be,” Nick answers. “He left a note on Gazelle while she slept after a hundred and seven tests. I won’t insult anyone by reading its contents. We’re pretty sure that it was written by someone that only the four specimens would know, one of the original five.”  
“The one you dragged out while he cursed like it couldn’t hurt anyone?” Bogo asks.  
“Bingo, Chief Bogo,” Nick returns. “We’re gonna need all of the help from those remaining four that we can get. If the fifth is behind this, odds are that they would know what kind of move he’d make next. We’re gonna need to ask them some more questions when we get back.”  
Chief Bogo looks at the four humans in the back seat for a bit before letting out a sigh.  
“Alright,” he says to Nick. “They will be in the interrogation room when you return. Just hurry back.”  
“Roger that,” Nick replies. “One more thing: Gazelle brought a couple things out of another version of our world, so if you start seeing double when we get back, it’s not you: it’s us. Over and out.”  
Bogo looks over to the boys after hanging up.  
“You would all be in juvie if we didn’t have a need for you,” Bogo tells them, “but, as you now have heard, we need you for a mission which could possibly determine the fate of the multiverse. And so, should the need arise, I am ready to temporarily deputize you all for the sake of our worlds. But don’t hope too hard.”  
“Yes, sir,” they all answer.  
“Hey!” Butters suddenly says. “I just realized something!”  
“What would that be?” Bogo asks.  
“Stan said that as long as we were in our cell, we wouldn’t know if the portal gun would be a danger. Now that we’re out of our cell, now we know!” Butters answers.  
“Human, odds are you would have known something like this regardless of whether or not you had escaped,” Bogo reminds him.  
Butters’ face falls along with the faces of the other three.  
“Oh,” he says after a pause. “Boy, do I feel stupid.” The others agree.

At the permanent divide between worlds, the small and stout figure from the start looks on as two versions each of Nick and Judy enter the squad car, with the Judy that he had already come to know casting angry looks at her duplicate and that of her partner.  
He lets out a quiet groan, still out of sight.  
“As if one of each wasn’t enough,” he thinks to himself. He then pats the area on his trench that conceals the portal gun he had recently taken.  
“No matter,” he thinks with a grin under his disguise.  
The last thing he observes of the group, for now, is Disney’s Nick looking at the note one last time before frowning deeply, folding it up, and putting it in his shirt pocket. Then, the squad car speeds off as the figure remembers what he wrote with a chuckle.  
The note reads, “Eat my d**k and booty, Nick and Judy! Sincerely yours, Eric Cartman.”


End file.
